Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a mudslide, in virtual reality.
Here is a girl but is it a he or she?
I'm just a role-player, I have no identity,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Is she real or just for show?
Any way the scene flows, doesn't really matter to me...
To me.

-The Seamstresses Guild, Discworld MUD.

Efface grins.

Dreams: Hit the library of some odd secondary schol to write a magazine with a gang of people. Included Guangneng, I know that much, because he was the guy who was holding my keyboard and got it confiscated (starcraft pro gamers bring their own keyboards.) Apparently the school has a no-external-keyboard policy. others included Kam Fai and Pin Xuan(I probably got the idea from his experiences of going back to his primary school to play games.) A few people there also looked about Sec 1 and were preparing to hide in order to play War3. Good for them. Later Jess Song came by and reported on the progress of his own magazine and group (they had painstakingly photoshopped a star for the N, which was the last letter of whatever they were doing). It was pretty relaxing. Got basically a whole library to slack around in and a nice view of a grassless open plain with HDB flats far across it through plate-glass windows.
A Benjamin Franklin crossover with Sandman (Wesley Dodds, not Morpheus) dream. Evil unstoppable killer after them who survives even after getting the top half of his spine blown off and whatnot. Benjamin Franklin does his famous lightning experiment in about ten dream seconds.
Jiaying and Jerrold guest-starred in some, now that I think of it, Macguyver-esque show (the main guy was dark blonde and had a mullet.) They were carrying ghostbuster packs with the awesome guns. This is good. She nearly gets shot by what looks like a rotten egg, which splashes on the wall next to her left ear in one scene. This is bad.
There's a completely retarded part about Batman, and how hed has to journey into space carried at great speed by the Martian Manhunter in order to throw some alien parasite mind-control shit into Venus, and I remember thinking about the maximum speed that a human can go in space if he holds his breath. Which is stupid in daylight, because now the higher functions kick in and remind me that you'll probably implode the moment you open your mouth accidentally. But, you know, "I'm Batman. I can breathe in space."
Okay. My subconscious has a sense of ironic humor.
Then it flashes back to in the Library, where we sit with a guy who looks like Lucien and watch gigantic books fall soundlessly to reveal stacks of gigantic dollar notes behind, and lament their fall. Also I get a Mech figurine that looks like a cross between the Sacred Watcher DnD figure and maybe the Avalanche.
Right, that's about it. Should head off now.

Even though I never read It before...
PENNYWISE. IN DREAMS. OR AT LEAST A KILLER CLOWN WHO I THINK IS PENNYWISE.
Unconsciously reverted to Green Lantern mode - willpower is all! - despite not lucid dreaming, and he broke like water. But still.
FIRST DREAM SUPERNATURAL KILLER CLOWN.
Must be something to do with the As today.

Got a crazving for Dsicworld, went online into the MUD AND ALMOST WALKED INTO THE SHADES.
My heart nearly stopped when it caught sight of the single line in the room that I just walked carelessly through: THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.

This is one of the nastiest areas of Ankh-Morpork. If you need to know how nasty it is, you shouldn't go in. You should think at least twice before attacking anything, which
is a moot point, as the inhabitants of the Shades don't do much thinking about such things. All in all, you go in *entirely* at your own risk; don't expect any sympathy when you die.

SCARY SCARY SCARY

I just realized I was a big Joss Whedon fan since, like, nine years old.
Because I didn't know Titan A.E was written by him.
HOLY HOLY HOLY
Joss is awesome.
I honestly believe that he SHOULD really, really buy Terminator - not just make a joke about buying it, actually buy it! JUST BUY IT! GIVE ME MORE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES!

First scenario: The world really ends on December 21st, 2012. In this case, humanity will be remembered - if it is remembered at all, by maybe Vogons - as being a species so idiotic that it would rather make an expensive cinematic work of fiction based upon its impending demise than actually prepare for it.
Second scenario: The world doesn't end, and a harmless but completely ridiculous film will be the butt of many jokes come 2013.

SPILLOVER WHY IS THIS EDITING ROOM GUY SO AWESOME
Can I say I'm backing up this stuff because it's too good to not rip directly

-

BEN AFFLECK and JOSH HARTNETT are reading CLASSIC AMERICAN LITERATURE.

BEN AFFLECK

I sure am enjoying my life as an American. America is great and full of great things, such as Americans.

JOSH HARTNETT

Da.

BEN AFFLECK

I am in love with Kate Beckinsale.

JOSH HARTNETT

She pretty.

BEN AFFLECK

Unfortunately, I am also in love with my country. I must go fight with the British. Goodbye Josh. Goodbye Kate. Kate, I won’t have sex with you, because that will make all the women in the audience want me even more. Later.

BEN AFFLECK DIES.

JOSH HARTNETT

Now chance! Kate mine!

KATE BECKINSALE

I don’t think I should get together with you.

KATE’S FRIENDS

Then let us provide much dialogue to justify it. This way, you won’t be hated. You should move on.

KATE BECKINSALE

That’s true. After all, Ben is dead.

KATE’S FRIENDS

Oh, I doubt that. But he is..well, such a weenie. Have you noticed he cries in almost every movie he does? You can do better.

They notice JOSH HARTNETT picking bugs out of his hair and eating them.

KATE’S FRIENDS

Well, you can at least do differently.

JOSH’S FRIENDS

Let’s also provide justification so you won’t be hated. It’ll make your death more dramatic.

JOSH HARTNETT

Josh death?

KATE BECKINSALE

Quiet. I love you.

JOSH HARTNETT

Me laid!
-
...
EXT. VARIOUS OUTDOOR SCENES

The JAPANESE MILITARY flies to PEARL HARBOR, passing by CHILDREN INNOCENTLY PLAYING STICKBALL, a COUPLE INNOCENTLY WATCHING THE SUN RISE, and an INNOCENT MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BEING INNOCENT TOGETHER.

DIRECTOR MICHAEL BAY

Almost there.. almost there…
-
...
KATE BECKINSALE

As a female character in a Michael Bay movie, I can only exist in three states: In Love, Sad but Proud, and Confused. I’m the third one right now.

BEN AFFLECK

Because you don’t know who you love?

KATE BECKINSALE

Actually, it’s because I don’t know what I’m doing in such a paint-by-the-numbers film. I’ve won awards.

BEN AFFLECK

So have I.

KATE BECKINSALE

But I actually deserved mine. Anyway, I have a problem. You see, I still love you, Ben… but I’m pregnant with Josh’s child.

BEN AFFLECK

Oh god. God, no! Josh Hartnett is…is… breeding!! NOOOOOO!

(cries)
-
Pearl Harbor: Abridged

EXT. LUSH, BEAUTIFUL FANTASY VILLAGE

IAN MCKELLEN arrives. ELIJAH WOOD runs up to him.

IAN MCKELLEN

I am old and sage! I bring a sense of dignity and elegance to all that I do, and I appear to be a master of all things intellectual.

ELIJAH WOOD

Actually, the most impressive thing you’ll do is set off a bunch of fireworks. Then you get your ass kicked by a better wizard, fail to get us through a door because you’re too stupid to solve an easy riddle, and then die.

IAN MCKELLEN

Oh. Well, at least I wasn’t in “North”, you putrid piece of shit.

ELIJAH WOOD

Dammit.

IAN MCKELLEN

So anyway, where’s Ian Holm? I heard he’s got the plot to this movie in his pocket somewhere.

- LOTRFOTR
-

CRAIG PARKER and his ARMY OF ELVES show up to help. Everyone is ready for an ENORMOUS ANIMATED BATTLE. TEN THOUSAND ORCS arrive and storm the fortress.

BERNARD HILL

OMFG ORC RUSH!!!!1

ORC LEADER

LOL!

BERNARD HILL

GAY! FUCK YOU GUYS!!

* BERNARD_HILL HAS LEFT THE GAME

ORC LEADER

ROFL! PWN3D!
-
HP: Prisoner of Azkaban


DANIEL RADCLIFFE

We have to stop them from killing Gary, Emma!

EMMA WATSON

Because he knew your parents and is therefore in a position to be your new father figure?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

No, because having a real actor like Gary Oldman in these movies almost makes them legitimate. We can’t let him be written out of the franchise.

EMMA WATSON

Alright, we can use my time machine.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Sounds great, let’s use your… wait, what? You have a time machine?

EMMA WATSON

Yeah. Professor Maggie Smith gave it to me earlier this year to help me take two classes at once.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

I’ve been nearly killed a dozen times since I started going to this school. I’m the one Voldemort is after. I was the one Gary Oldman wanted. Nobody in this school is in as much danger as I am on a regular basis, and she gave a FUCKING TIME MACHINE to YOU!? So that you could be a snot-nosed little shit and take more classes?

EMMA WATSON

I guess. Why would she have given it to you?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW USEFUL A TIME MACHINE WOULD HAVE BEEN LAST YEAR WHEN I HAD TO FIGHT THE GIANT SNAKE? I’VE WATCHED HUMAN BEINGS DIE BY MY HAND EVERY YEAR SINCE I CAME TO THIS FUCKING SCHOOL, AND I COULD HAVE AVOIDED ALL OF IT WITH A TIME MACHINE! WHAT IN FUCK’S NAME WAS THAT STUPID BITCH THINKING?!

They travel back to the middle of the movie together, instead of 15 years ago to save DANIEL’S PARENTS.
-

BRENDAN GLEESON

I hear you have to fight a dragon. I’ll help, because apparently even knowing in advance what the contest will be doesn’t give you enough of a competitive advantage. What are your strengths?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Oh, well… Um… Actually, I’m not good at anything at all. In fact, I am a remarkably poor wizard. I can fly, I guess, but that’s because I have a good broom.

BRENDAN GLEESON

Great, use that.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

But I’m not allowed.

BRENDAN GLEESON

Let’s all just forget that you said that for the next scene.

DANIEL fights a dragon and summons a broom, which apparently isn’t within the scope of the “no broom” rule. He destroys part of the school and nearly kills a hundred or so students, but eventually DOESN’T QUITE DIE.

-

Things are awkward and comical. DANIEL explores a romantic subplot with KATIE LEUNG which goes absolutely nowhere. Suddenly, EMMA WATSON shows up all dolled up and girly.

AUDIENCE

Holy shit, get a load of the–

EMMA WATSON

Not seventeen until next year.

AUDIENCE

–the purity and innocence of this young child.

Everyone DANCES until the audience tires of it. RUPERT GRINT makes EMMA cry, because that’s DRAMATIC.

EMMA WATSON

Why didn’t you just ask me out, Rupert?!

RUPERT GRINT

Me? Wait, seriously, are you supposed to fall in love with me or Daniel? This series can’t seem to decide.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE

Can’t be me. I have a crush on a girl with no lines.

RUPERT GRINT

Look at me. Emma is like three thousand light years out of my league.

-

AHaaaa

THIS IS REALLY GETTING MY BLOOD PRESSURE UP

"I cannot have public confusion between scientific advice and policy and have therefore lost confidence in your ability to advise me as chair of the ACMD.

"I would therefore ask you to step down from the Council with immediate effect."
EXCUSE ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
This really, really, really mandates a STRONG SWEAR.
Oh right, the article:
British Drug advisor SACKED FOR NOT HAVING SCIENCE AGREE WITH GOVERNMENT POLICY
What. What. WHAT.
Shit, normally we HATE crying 1984 nowadays but...this...
It's even worse than silencing the common man. It's silencing an EXPERT. Which YOU HIRED. You don't even have "ends justify the means" to fall back on, you only have "MY WILL BE DONE."
He's been sacked because he said marijuana, LSD and Ecstasy were more harmless than alcohol, in contrast to what people, who weren't experts, said. But they didn't want to hear it.
Oh god, propaganda really works. This is really sad.

Dream log: Creepy steampunk world where guy designs a massive waterworks underground machine, really incredible. and then another guy, some genius engineer, I gather, is almost assassinated while sitting on a park bench, throwing cigarettes to the little street urchins and teaching them how to smoke. He is grabbed off the street by the remainder of the assassination crew, who have shot their employer, and led to the machine and told that some unscrupulous guy, the one who hired the employer, is trying to knock all this down to build something else, and that this is really an engineering marvel so incredible that to do that is blasphemy.
...
Karmic Koala is running nicely and so far aside from completely random crashes of programs in the background that don't seem to affect anything, it is gold. Sleek modern interface. Which reminds me that I haven't installed the compiz manager yet to tweak the special effects. Because that is the shiniest part.

A kender runs around a castle climbing out onto gargoyles to align them so they spray water correctly upon an oncoming storm; Takhisis can look after her own with flame dragons. A giant discovers the kender despite industrious and fast efforts to sneak behind armchairs. Kender pacifies giant with yuyi oil, which he drinks the whole bottle of after observing its miraculous cooling effects. A computer runs Warcraft 3 on an unknown graphics mode never seen before. We as humans are captured when the castle falls under siege by attackers. Zhi Wan takes a bullet in the leg from a stray shot and still remains cheerful, causing captor to come over to our side with inescapable, infectious camaraderie.. I run into Alex Wong for the first time since who knows when, leading another band of hostages, who still wants to fight playfully despite being in a dangerous situation. Crossing a heave of bucking land, I find that it slopes steeply down to oblivion on both sides, and my position is a tenuous narrow plateau of flat land which shakes alarmingly and I have to cling on with all four limbs. Jessie Koh appears and gives me encouragement. Wake. Shudder.

Gahh there is this little (or big, can't really tell because this whole Loch-Ness like thing moves ominously below the skin) muscle that is is irritating the hell out of me now. It is very distracting because with stuff concerning my body I tend to examine everything I consider out of the ordinary in a close-reading, highly fascinated manner, and I think I've tensed my right arm about several hundred times now because the sensation is highly unsettling, and uncomfortable, though it isn't painful.
Grahh reminds me of that time long ago they told me my corn thingy on the foot had a root, and I immediately went into what seemed like hours of obsessed digging trying to rip the root out before I actually got on the internet and determined it was an urban myth, and I had been just whacking at a patch of raised meat.
There's this kind of weird lag time and even some sort of activation energy barrier between tensing the arm and the muscle thingo moving.
Can't...stop...doing...it.
Effect is less pronounced when fist is clenched.
Effect is much less pronounced when fist is unclenched and palm is face up.
Effect is still noticeably, almost identically present when fist is clenched, with closed palm face up.
Hmmm.
Fist no longer seems to affect degree of muscular apparent deformation. Chalk it down to experimental error. There will certainly be repeated experiments gahhhhhhhhhh.
Gahhhhhh.
It's like that Carlin sketch where he's talking about how EVERYONE, yes, EVERYONE likes to keep their toenails, look through them like they're some kind of goddamned collection, and take out the largest one, and squeeeeze it while it's still fresh and juicy...except that no one will ever admit to doing this in polite company, and no one will do stuff like keep it for tomorrow to squeeze because as he says, they'll go "shitcockcuntscrewyoufuckyou I'm not that sick". Except, of course, the point being made here is that everyone is already a degree of sick, just that they don't consider themselves to be. So why should we dismiss people who think that, say, skinning babies is a perfectly normal activity as simply "crazy nutjobs"? I mean, it's not that I endorse baby-skinning but we should, as a society, really, really find a better argument. Even if it seems obvious. Because common sense is just a bundle of preconceived notions and prejudice, and "It's common sense" is a sentence which my bile starts to rise at. Once upon a time, it was common sense that blacks were inferior to whites. Once upon a time, it was common sense that no man could fly. Once upon a time, Goudsmit and Uhlenbeck were laughed at for electron spin.
...
How did I get here from arm-twitching? Oh right. Curse you, Carlin, down below.
Hermitacy is now the preferred mode of existence, for at least a short time. People are really getting very distracting and I should avoid contact with everyone except when it becomes inevitable.


It is also approaching a point where most conversation is getting really incredibly boring. This is a world of few colors.
Twitch. Arm.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If you can WATCH THIS FUCKING FILM. I SAY FUCKING BECAUSE IT HAS LOTS OF FUCKING.
And it teaches Jennifer's Body a LESSON. A LESSON IN HOW WOMAN CAN TRULY BRING PAIN.
SERIOUSLY. MAN.
It's so bad it's good. HECK THE MAIN DEVICE IS SO BAD IT'S AWESOME.




"Vagina Dentata, the legends are True, Vagina Dentata!" - Teeth

*CONVULSING IN LAUGHTER WHILE TRYING TO CHEM*
Shit, I'll never look at the word dentate the same way again

A Canadian loony has been convicted of “criminal negligence causing bodily harm for a botched amateur circumcision he attempted on his four-year-old son”:

However, Justice Marion Allan acquitted the man, who along with his family can’t be identified under a publication ban, of aggravated assault and assault with a weapon.

The child, now aged six, was treated in hospital for what doctors said was an incomplete circumcision and has since made a full recovery.

The boy’s father, who subscribes to a religious philosophy that incorporates Hebrew elements, previously tried to circumcise himself and also had to seek medical help.

He learned about circumcision on the Internet and sent away for special instruments.

Now normally I’d pass something like this off as mental illness. But that would be mistaken, for most of the major world religions think the same way. They think God wants penile foreskins removed. Others think God wants the clitoris removed.

Normal people think this.

It’s kinda scary.

-From Unreasonable Faith

"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all."
- Henry Louis Mencken

That was very first Mencken quote I ever came across, somewhere on Slashdot, and it still makes my heart rise and sets my mind aflame. When I saw it, I thought he was a poet.

Then he has purely witty stuff like, "Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another."

Was whacking around democracy with the Jonathan Yeo just now on MSN and remembered that really stirring quote of Mencken's from Transmetropolitan:

"The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost invariably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And if he is not romantic personally, he is apt to spread discontent among those who are."

At the end of issue 32, it was particularly potent. Even taken out of that context it is still really, really moving. It can bring tears to my eyes now, for some reason. Sadly, like so many of his other quotes, it is true. And the thing is, it feels so right that I have to question whether it is simply a rhetorical tactic that is responsible - but I don't see that it is wrong. Every bit of it is true, including the weasel-wordy 'almost invariably' part.
Mencken never said that such a man would change it for the better. It is simply change.
And personally, I think pure change, on its own, is one of the most beautiful concepts the human mind has recognized and birthed.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
DAIRINE WAS ASSISTED BY THE FIFTH DOCTOR IN HIGH WIZARDRY
OH MY FREAKING POWERS THAT BE
THAT GUY WAS THE FIFTH DOCTOR
WHAT THE SHIT
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*Retroactive fan overload*
MUST. READ. HIGH WIZARDRY. AGAIN.

Kamil
Kamil @ Oct 22nd 2009 12:23PM

For every "apple is getting sued cuz nokia is scared"
comment I see, I'm going to donate $20 to a downs syndrome charity.


arsenal27 @ Oct 22nd 2009 1:15PM

dude u ll be out of a lot of money

Bahhh I am now bored.
Thinking of going back to sleep.
Bahhh.
I realize my Codebreakers is back on the shelf. Bahhh.
Books are really expensive.

This one was me as a pre-adolescent female skater protagonist with psychic powers. Rather fun, if not desperate. Only noticed (and did not pay any special attention to) the fact that I was a girl after being trapped in a room full of people (including Yixiao, she's like starting to become the Bill Ferny of my dreams - why?) where a short bespectacled man (I think based off Gaiman's 'We Can Get It For You Wholesale''s prot) was lecturing the whole room that "there are eight (something-ers) and 1 Eraser in this room." Then short speech about how Erasers are dangerous, which I can't quite recall but happened to be somewhat about irreversibility and shit. Then says,"Each violation of the mind by the Eraser (wtf i never did anything) will be dealt with in a seperate ceremony. The Eraser will be executed later in another ceremony (Well screw that).
So after he says everyone can leave cept the nine of us (oo, nine) everyone ups and I attempt to follow, only the idiot has some sort of imbalanced sensing power of his own and comes next to me saying 'Young lady, where do you think you're going?' So I freak out and dash for a door, which happens to lead into the college-esque science lab, then out through another door (with the omnipresent 'you can't hide' badguy speech behind. Then after breaking a few test tubes I dash out through another door and run into two 'guards' - teenage hooliganish brits/americans - and attempt to sock them with psychic whammy. First one went rather well but the proceeding ones maybe did nothing, and I attempted to melee them but obviously was nearly overpowered.
Hmm. There's a bit more hard to describe, but no one probably wants to read this kind of thing anyway; own reference stuff. It involves antigravity, and a game of tag, and subsequent grabbing into a dark room by what I now surmise to be another group of Erasers.
Creepy. All my dreams are about escape nowadays. Wonder from what.
Oh, but had a dream before that NOT about escape, but it involved a known person, and was about sex and payment, and marks the second time someone has tried to go down on me so far in dreams (besides that crazed sex-goddess thing a few months back who probably was a succubus and evil. But I digress.)